Not long ago my mother asked me if she could take my daughter on a trip to Florida. I said "ok why?" She said she was helping a co-worker move there blah blah yada yada ok whatever fine. She wanted to show her the ocean since she'd never seen it before. I was like well is it ok if I go because I've never seen the ocean before and it'd be nice if the first time she sees the ocean I was seeing it to. Sure she says, no problem we are driving my car (OMG Her car is a small ass Saturn sl) and we are all splitting the cost of gas. Great! 4 people paying for gas means I only pay $110 for gas. Ok game let's go.
So November 21 comes and we have decided we are taking my smaller SUV instead. Cool. It's a little more roomy and more comfortable. I pack one small teen size suitcase for Geselle and I have a medium sized duffle bag with mine. I take my laptop, my one square case of bead cases and my small little carry case with beads. We grab two pillows, a couple blankets and her sleeping bag. That's it! Trust me all of our stuff didn't even take up half of my hatch area. In the back seat we take a backpack with the portable dvd player and dvd's. We get to my moms and she has a fan, 2 air mattresses, 4 blankets 3 sheets, 2 pillows, 2-3 bottles of wine, glasses, towels, toilet paper, this monstrous sized bag with her and her boyfriends stuff packed in it, he has like NOTHING he is taking with other than clothes. She was also taking a carry on bag full of medications and toiletries and hair supplies and make up and god knows what else. OMFG SERIOUSLY! I know your hair has to be PERFECT not a strand sticking out anywhere but this is ridiculous! Then she was bringing her boombox and the hand air pump for the air mattresses, her laptop oh and we had a bag of snacks with us also. So I start packing their stuff and I'm like omg we are only going to be gone 4 days wtf. She's like I packed light. UM, Ok if you say so well we need to downsize, I'm not downsizing I can't leave anything I already packed.
Now I'm THINKING to myself, That fucking boombox can stay, your laptop you aren't even taking to use it you just worry too much about someone breaking in and stealing it. I'm sorry but I'd be more fucking worried about someone breaking in and stealing other shit! You don't really NEED the fan but ok whatever, Do you seriously need a medium sized bag for just toiletries? And Why the Airplane sized luggage?
So, this is what happened, mind you this is all going on BEFORE WE LEAVE, I should have just stayed the hell home! She's already bitching and whining about how she NEEDS her stuff and then oh her friend we are moving is bringing stuff to and riding back with us in the car so we need to downsize.
Again, I'm thinking, WHY DONT YOU DOWNSIZE SOME THEN!
SO my kid and I downsize to ONE bag not two and they weren't even the size of her bag put together! I leave this stuff at my mothers. Finally in the car, I look at her boyfriend and ask, "Do you leave the attic light on all the time?" He was like oh crap no... Hey Mom, the attic light is on should it be? I heard "GRRRR BITCH MOAN COMPLAIN" wtf is the light on for Jesus Christ I don't have time for this shit blah blah complain bitch moan. I look at him and say "I just shouldn't have said shit".
OFF WE GO FUCKING FINALLY SHIT but I made sure I took my "happy pills" cause I knew I would need them EVERY DAY! I normally take them 3 times a week cause I don't like being medicated but I take them and they do help me. I don't sleep at all if I take them every day.
Anyways, we go pick up her friend. The moms boyfriend drives the moving truck and we all pile in the SUV. Her friend was like Um you said I could bring a few boxes on the ride down and you have no room, I'll have to downsize. My mom bitched about that and basically told her oh well. So finally off we go driving driving la la la, oh god she's bitching what about now.
So apparently her boyfriend has an ATTITUDE and I ask why, she said FUCK IF I KNOW but he can blah blah blah with it whatever I tuned out seriously I did. So after a few hours of listening to her bitch about him being crabby and having an attitude I was like "Is it cause you aren't riding with him?" SHe's like OH, um probably but I asked him (oh here we go with the "Yeah you're probably right but here's my excuse" bs) if he wanted me to ride with him and he didn't answer or he said no so I was like fine I won't. Gee real nice of ya there leave him to ride all alone while we have 4 people in my car. How unselfish of you!
So finally she rides with him so he'll quit whining like a baby as she puts it. So as we are driving I start to get tired around Chattanooga TN when we start getting towards the mountains and I didn't want to drive through the mountains. It was like 3am I had to quit driving. My mom SAID she was going to nap and drive through the mountains. Well apparently she had not napped and was driving the truck. OH let me stop for a minute and tell you about DRIVING THE TRUCK!
When we first started off driving she was bitching and freaking out about how swervy the truck was and he was driving like an idiot and blah blah blah, till SHE had to try and drive it. Apparently she did the same shit where she got to close to a semi and he took a quick loud breath in and she over corrected the wheel freaking out on him DONT DO THAT OMG I WASNT GOING TO HIT THE SEMI YOU DID THE SAME SHIT!... um WOW... ok Yeah I heard that from her not him. Neways, back to the trip...
So her friend hadn't napped either really and kinda gabbed with me on the way down AFTER my mom left my vehicle. Her friend kept asking me "Why do they keep stopping at the most expensive gas stations, I am paying for the gas in that big ass truck" I said I don't know ask her that... We had the gas buddy app and I'm telling you 5 more miles made a HUGE difference in prices sometimes. But my moms response was We are driving that damn truck she will DEAL WITH IT! (ME THINKING AGAIN) Yeah cause YOU Don't have to pay for it....real UNSELFISH there mom.
Oh and then there's the gas issue in MY OWN vehicle. So the first couple of stops I wasn't even at Half a tank yet and she topped it off with her credit card. WOW Thanks for the $40 in gas. The next stop we made for fuel I was at 1/4 tank guess who paid for that, me. Supposedly her card was declined. So the rest of the way down I paid for my gas her friend paid for the trucks gas and I bought my food and my kids food and drinks etc. Her boyfriend paid for her cause her card was declined. Ok fine no big deal but I was kinda peeved that I was the ONLY one paying for gas the entire 22 hours except that one 40 worth I got from her.
Finally we get to Florida in Cape Coral. YAY! Good spirits we're all like WOO HOO Check out the warmth and the trees and yay! the one GOOD time I had there.
We get to the Condo and unpack the car. My mom takes the master bedroom with their stuff, the second bedroom had this rock solid omg I'd rather sleep on concrete bed where her friend slept and my daughter and I got the living room floor with a leaky air mattress. My mom said she was going to find the leak and patch it but that didn't happen. Geselle and I laid down and watched a movie together and I was completely exhausted and worn out I passed right out. My daughter had woke me up suddenly freaked out. MOM MOM I heard a BOO I was like what? Shes like I heard something I'm scared it came from right next to me. I turned off my laptop and made sure nothing was there I was like ok go to sleep Im right here. LOL
We woke up the next morning, ON THE FLOOR due to the LEAK! I was sore, tired, and felt like complete shit but to not disappoint my kids OMG MOM WAKE UP moments I smiled tickled her and we laughed. My moms friend was like I need you all to put your stuff in the second bedroom cause the movers are unloading the truck today. Ok no problem. I tell my mom, she's like I"M NOT TAKING THE AIR OUT OF OUR AIR MATTRESS SCREW THAT I JUST FILLED IT UP LAST NIGHT! (Me thinking) No the fuck you didn't my kid filled both air mattresses up and you just let her! SO she tried to put her air mattress up against the window I was like um she's putting some dresser there, she threw her air mattress and was like FINE I'm not moving it off the fucking bed! WOAH THERE CRABBY CATHY!
We had already moved our stuff. I think part of the issue was there was no hot water for showers LMFAO I took a cold one it sucked but whatever I was clean. So the night before we had gotten dinner at Dennys and my mom tried using her card, declined again, so her boyfriend bought dinner for all of us. Thanks. my kid and mom had leftovers so that morning she woke up and ate her leftovers, apparently she asked my daughter if she wanted her leftovers and she stated she didn't like her food. Ok so feed her something ELSE...right? So I assumed and I shouldn't have, that my mom found something else for her grand-daughter to eat, NO! Myself and my daughter never ate the entire day until like 7pm that night! OMFG SERIOUSLY! Ok yeah partly my fault because I normally ask Geselle when she's hungry etc. Well I thought my mom took care of breakfast and I was out Christmas shopping for lunch and exploring. I didn't eat, I don't care when I eat. When I got back from my outing I asked Geselle if she was hungry she said not yet. Now at the time I left the movers were unloading the truck and stuff was accumulating on the ground next to the truck. My moms response was "I Hope the movers are taking this stuff upstairs there is no way that I'm taking that stuff up all of those stairs blah blah bitch moan" I was like well mom I think she said she has the movers for two hours and that as long as they hook up the washer she'd carry it up we could go to the beach. My mom was Giddy like SWEET!
I come back from shopping and exploring and her friend was like can you run me to get this stuff? Sure no problem. My mom was talking about getting ready to go to be beach and showering etc and how she was tired from carrying all of the stuff from downstairs to upstairs, you know the stuff she REFUSED to carry!
So I show her friend the shortcuts I found, AWESOME she loved that I found my way around. We get a few things done, we go back get the truck take it back. Then my moms bf has to get ready, OH GOOD LORD thank goodness there are two showers. So by this time it was like 130. Her friend and I go back out to get a few more things because they arent ready yet. So finally she's ready when we get back everyone hauls butt downstairs and jumps in the car and I'm like ok are we going to the beach? Yeah let's go. Uh well I never got to get ready I've been running the entire time. Well too late now she says we are all ready and leaving. Now I know I could have been like FUCK YOU ITS MY CAR BLAH BLAH BLAH but I was like fine whatever lets go I'll manage no problem. So we start driving to the beach a bazillion miles away it seems to me but no biggie not a problem. So my mom starts telling my kid something in the back seat and keeps repeating it over and over I was like OK WE GOT IT! Her friend was like OH the GPS got the beach? I was like yeah but I was talking to my mom that time. My mom got pissy and an attitude. Oh well, don't care she doesn't need to speak to my kid that way.
So near the beach there is a TON of traffic, we see a COOL jungle themed mini golf place, my kid "Can we go there tomorrow please" Sure gma says we can go. COOL! SO finally to the beach, parking is $6 but we get that as a discount on food at the Lani Kai restaurant. Cool. He ends up paying cause I sure as hell wasn't paying for anything the rest of that day. My mom was like There ya go Rhi you get $6 off your meal I was like no I don't I didn't pay for it not my coupon. Apparently it shocked her cause I wasn't greedy.
So off to the beach, my mom tells her bf he needs ice for his beer, he's like no I don't. She convinced him he did, 20 mins later they emerge from the beachfront convenience store with ice. Why did it take so long there buddy? Neways. Walking onto the beach the guy comes up and says "Chairs are $5 Umbrellas are normally $10 but are half off at $5 right now." Ok well I dont personally need either one and neither does my kid. But my mom made her man pay $25 for 4 chairs and an umbrella. Pointless but ok no big deal I guess.
So finally we make it on to the beach and to the ocean which smelled like rotten sewer, seriously! So my mom was apparently basking in her moment and kept repeating over and over "Ah I could just stay here forever" "Ah I love this" "Ah I could just stay here forever" "Ah this is pure joy" OMG OK SAY THAT SHIT TO YOURSELF! Oh the time is now 330pm when we FINALLY got on the beach. They take the chairs and umbrellas at 430. WTF! Ok ... so an HOUR on the beach and in the water, got cool photos had some fun in the sand and water with my kid. We start talking about how Starving we are, my mom says I'm not hungry yet I had breakfast and lunch.... DUDE SERIOUSLY? WTF! No one else had.
So we start walking up the beach to see the shops and find food. This is like 5pm. No coolers allowed, well mom you have to take that stuff to the car. Ok no biggie take Geselle so she can get her jacket. So they do. They come back like 30 mins later. WTF it was a 2 min walk? Ok neways. So again she sees something to buy asks her bf for $, PANSY ASS tell her NO for once shit! (Me thinking). We finally get up to the Lana Kai restaurant and go sit on the Sun Deck. Awesome, I tell everyone I want to get a sunset photo from up there over the ocean. Well my kid is shivering I'm like did you get her jacket from the back? NO THERE WAS NO JACKET In the hatch Rhianna, in a stern voice. I was like yeah it's pink and it should be right there when you open the back up. Now about yelling at me THERE IS NO JACKET I WOULD HAVE SEEN IT! Ok fine I'll go look. IT WONT BE THERE CAUSE ITS NOT THERE! come on kiddo, OK mom. So we walk down to the car, and what do you know I open the hatch and OH WOW WHere did that bright pink jacket for a kid come from that is oh my god next to my moms bag she just put in the car? NOw how did that get in here? So we grab her jacket that I KNEW was in there and got back upstairs. This took a total of 10 mins. So we get back up there and they are sitting inside, I'm like ???? My mom was snotty WE GOT COLD. OOOOK. She proceeds to show me this AWESOME SUNSET OVER THE OCEAN photo she got with her camera. (ME THINKING) OMFG SERIOUSLY FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOU AGAIN FOR RUBBING IT IN YOU BITCH) I was like "Oh that's nice mom I wish I could have got one but I was getting her jacket". She sees the jacket, shock in her face, shuts up. I heard my mom say something about moving inside and the waiter, I asked "does the waiter know we moved" She proceeds to talk to me like some ignorant person Y E S the WAITER knows WE moved INSIDE like saying it all snotty and slow and drawn out like I wouldn't understand! Her friend saw my disbelief and was like Shaking her head at me like don't snap don't snap, I'm sure she saw the irritation in my face. I just ignored her from then on and talked to my kid. We ordered, they got lavish talapia with crab and some seafood platter and my kid and I got a french dip and cheeseburger cause we couldn't afford a $60 meal. It would have been nice to try fresh shrimp on the ocean but no biggie. We sat and listened to this band Free Spirit. OMG LOVE THEM! SHe was sooo chillax and awesome. By this time it was like 8pm and my mom was on her 3rd alcoholic drink for the night. Yes this is a nightly thing with her and her bf they drink 2, 3, 4, whatever.
So we decide to get back to the condo and kiddo wanted to sleep on the floor in her sleeping bag, I got the awesome chaise lounge OH YEAH her friend slept in her moved in bed and my mom and her bf took the second room bed the ROCK SOLID CONCRETE IS BETTER THAN IT bed. Now I SAT on this bed for 5 mins to get ready for bed and KNEW I was NOT ever sleeping on this thing OMFG! Why my mom couldn't grasp this concept was beyond me. But I knew it was not comfy and I even said something to her about it. Now I got my laptop out to upload pics from my SD CARD and my mom apparently tried to do the same thing. Well during this she was having issues cause she doesn't understand how to use the laptop pad mouse and didn't bring her wireless one. 1. She could have easily asked for help 2. she could have asked to use mine but she didn't do either. My kid asked gma for help finding something my mom told her where it was and my kid couldn't find it. My mom proceeds to start talking to my kid like some stupid ass ignorant person like she did me about the waiter in the restaurant. OH HELL NO! I was like stop what your doing and help her first please the photos can wait. She got snotty and I was like I"LL HELP YOU SWEETIE. Not even 30 secs later I was done and back to finish my photos. I then walked over to see how my mom was doing. I was like are you getting it done? She was like NO I Can't even figure out how to make a folder with this stupid mouse I should have brought my mouse from home. Ok well just let me walk you through it. So I kept saying LEFT CLICK LEFT CLICK she RIGHT CLICKS OMG ok breathe Rhianna breathe. So I get her through it, take my nightly meds and stayed up to make jewelry and play games with my kid. My mom and her bf played old maid with her also while I made jewelry. So my mom snags on a bracelet OOO I WANT THIS ONE and walks off and puts it in her bag. I'm like EARLY CHRISTMAS GIFT WOMAN! Cause yes even my MOM pays for my stuff! So we all go to bed.
The next morning! DRAMA! My mom wakes up bitching and moaning saying her friend is already gone who knows where too. She is constantly bitching about how hard that bed was to sleep on. I was like I tried to explain that to ya. Her bf never said anything. So her friend comes back awhile later, my mom had eaten breakfast and I had my kid eat some of the snacks we brought, not the healthiest but it was food. I chowed down a small cheese danish I brought for snacks. So when her friend comes back my mom was packing or doing SOMETHING....I was packing stuff up and getting it in the car cause we were supposed to leave Sat night around 6 or 7pm to go home. Well before we even LEFT for our trip my mom said SHE was packing the car cause I suck at it....Obviously I don't cause I had it in there like a puzzle man and made room for all her shit. So neways, her friend comes back and asks Hey how are you today? Ok now this to me means she has noticed my mothers negative behavior over the last couple of days and is wondering how today will go. My moms response "MY BACK HURTS THAT BED IS ROCK HARD IT FUCKING SUCKS" Her friend was like "Oh" sounding completely hurt by the rudeness. You know I didn't sleep that great either the first night and end I didn't enjoy cold showers and she apologized cause it was all she had and moving etc. I completely understand no big deal we got it we are here to have fun and enjoy this place. So my mom proceeds to tell me we aren't going to the beach again and just taking my kid to the POOL. Seriously? YOu promised her the beach mom. So she tried to TELL her what we were going to do I was like NO NO Wait... Honey what do you want to do today? I wanna go to the beach!Oh man my mom looked at me like I was going to be murdered for that. FINE WE WILL GO TO THE DAMN BEACH! (My mom) So I don't know WHAT exactly happened. I was like you know her and I are supposed to look for seashells and get sand and beach water today at the beach mom. My kid got upset about the fact that we couldn't go to the beach and I was like well I will take you myself then. But I realized I didn't have the $ to pay for parking and the $2 toll bridge on the way back. Crap. But she talked her out of going to the beach and going to the pool instead. She was like I'll just go to the pool mom it's ok. I was like ok sweetie I'm sorry. I had $23 left to my name. And the shopping I did consisted of spending $60 total while there mind you. So I sat outside cleaned out my car, jammed to some low music and chillaxed outside. My kid comes up to me and was like We are going to the pool what are you going to do? I was like oh I thought gma and them were packing then leaving for the beach? I was really confused cause my mom kept saying beach then pool then beach then pool. So my kid ran up to gma and told her what I said my mom started yelling and was like WE ARE GOING TO THE POOL WE CAN PACK OUR SHIT LATER! I was like woah woah woah there You do NOT need to speak to MY Daughter or me that way and I won't allow it! She storms up the stairs bitching mumbling something says something to her friend her friends comes at ME talking about I HAVE TO LIVE HERE! I was like well tell her to stop being a fucking bitch then! I"ve had it I've dealt with 2 1/2 days of this crap from her and then I can't even take my kid to the beach cause I spent all of MY money on gas, my mom tried pointing out the $40 she put in I was like OH WOW MOM Thanks for the two top offs you gave me and not even filling it ONCE! I'm broke now cause of that crap you said we were ALL SPLITTING the gas not just ME! She came down and was like I"M NOT RIDING WITH YOU AND YOUR FUCKING ATTITUDE FOR 24 hours FUCK YOU! I"M RENTING A CAR AND DRIVING HOME! I was like seriously you're just going to leave us here broke and no way home in my car? SHe was like FOLLOW ME THEN! Fine. Well by this time everyone was in awe....I took my kid and put the last of my money in gas and got us some lunch cause we were hungry. Thanks McDonalds unhealthy dollar menu! So We get back and they are all 3 walking down the drives through the condos. They saw us, we parked by the condo and my kid got out and played at the park. She met a little girl and was made friends her mom came over to me, I was bawling in my car, and she talked to me for a bit. We went to the pool with them.
Ok so let me tell you about WHERE the pool is. The entrance to this condo place and take a left BAM there's the pool on the right you can SEE everything and everyone and every car there! So I kept an eye out for this RENTAL car they were getting and them...I never once saw them. I went back to the condo no one was there. No phone calls No Notes, No money for us to get home no nothing. No texts nothing. I was like wtf where are they? So About 430 pm I take off with my kid to go see if we can find them somewhere. Nothing. I'm like well lets just drive maybe they'll find us on the side of the road no gas. We got to Sarasota FL and never saw them or anything. I tried calling a few times throughout the ordeal, no answer, I tried calling him, No answer, I didn't have her friends number. So we get to Sarasota, FL and find our way to the Walmart and McDonalds. Now they had the in car GPS thing I only have my SPrint phone gps, if you leave it on constantly it kills your phone whether it's on the charger or not. So my phone died alot and I'd have to pull over and find 20 mins to kills somewhere sometimes an hour to charge my phone to get where I needed to be. Thankfully McDonalds has wifi and I had my laptop. So I realize my mom has my kids pullups clothes and such. CRAP! I spend my last $10 ON PULLUPS. Call my husband let him know what's going on, start posting on FB for help. My husband was able to get us some money sent through Walmart but by the time I got to north Florida I couldn't drive anymore it was like 130am. We crash at a $49 a night hotel and forget her pillow OH CRAP 2 hours later she's crying. I'm sorry baby I'll buy you a new one. So we get on I75 North through GA and about half way through tons of traffic jams and construction areas etc. Awww crud. We tried the Hwy 42 through Macon shortcut well apparently everyone else did to lmao. So my kid sees this awesome town square block full of Christmas lights. Mom can we stop please? Ok I spose. So I see a couple of mormons walking as I try to find my way, My husband calls Honey not now I'm lost I'll call you back by this time it's Sunday at like 430 pm or something like that, later maybe?. Neways we find our way back and these towns are crazy the way they have traffic directed and turns etc. We stop and get out taking pics and exploring this christmas display it was AWESOME! I was like you know what honey? If we had been with gma on the way home we'd be home by now and we would have NEVER gotten to see this awesome Christmas Town! She was so excited happy about that. So we talked to the Mormons for a min, just funny how when I pray for guidance I get it in some form. Not too long later we stop at the border Pilot for Ga/Tn, a guy buys us dinner who sees us scrounging for change. THANKS! We go through the Mountains and my in law Uncle wires us the $ to get home and eat and have one more night in a hotel cause when I got to Murfreesburo OMG! It was 1130pm I was super tired and spent 2 1/2 more hours trying to find an all night Western Union. Finally in Nashville I found one got us a hotel the dude gave us an extra hour to sleep and a discount. The next morning I got my kid waffle house she got one waffle and milk. Good girl! SHe loved it and the lady there gave her a Peace Love and Waffle House pin. Awesome. WE drive. KY was cool stopped by the Elk Bison Prairie. Saw awesome scenery. Stopped in St Louis to see the Arch, she was uninterested. Had some rude lady call her a white bitch cause my daughter ignored her. WTF! Neways. So we found another Downtown Christmas display we froze our butts off and took pics and went home up 67. I call my husband he tells me my mom dropped our stuff off to my grandmas house. OOOOOOOOOK. You know the rest and no I haven't heard from or seen my mom and don't care to!
